Long post alert.
The day i left my ex husband, i allowed him to make love to me, served him his best meal and kissed him goodbyea he left to go watch a football match at Ajah.
We lived at Magodo, I calculated the time i had, max 4 hours.
I started packing hurriedly, I packed everything I considered important, because I knew I’d never get anything I leave behind again.
I got a taxi to tow my car out of the house, which by the way, my ex disabled intentionally so I wouldn’t be able to go anywhere, my Friend, Eby, was kind enough to let me park it in her house.
He came back and found out I’d left, he began calling me, he called me over a 100 times.
He sent me messages of love, some he’d be pleading for me to come back.
48 hours after, he changed.
I started getting threats from him.
I’ll kill you.
I’ll cripple you.
I’ll burn your father’s house down.
If i can’t have you, no one will.
Watch your back.
You’re mine for life.
Called my friend Chioma Linda Okoro.
Called my Father.
Called my Favourite Uncle.
Called my godmother.
He didn’t sound apologetic in all of this.
He was arrogant and threatening.
He’d wait till 1am, 2am, call me and just be breathing.
Sometimes he’d call me and threaten me, bodyshame me, tell me he loves me, then threaten me again.
Everytime I changed my number, he’d get the new one and call me.
In all of these, I recognised the clear and present danger i was in and I never took it for granted.
I stayed out of sight.
Once I’m done at my place of business, straight to my house.
No partying, No socialising. No hangouts. Nothing.
My godmother was mad, she said she’d get him arrested, do this, do that.
I remember looking her in the eyes and telling her, all it takes, is one bullet. Just one, and I’m history.
The more I stay out of sight, the more he forgets me.
I’m not going to go at it with someone whose reality had become obfuscate.
I wanted to stay alive, and my best bet of achieving this, was to stay out of his sight.
I’m writing this today, because I read about the Ghanaian pastor in America who shot his wife to death.
He threatened to kill her before her brother and all they did was, call the cops.
Call the cops because you’re assuming you’re dealing with someone who is mentally stable and is Still under the the rule of law.
Their first and only mistake.
That man was no longer mentally stable and the only rule of law he knew at that time was the dictates of his unstable mind.
She should have relocated. She should have left her job.
She should have gone off grid for a while.
She should have taken the threats seriously.
Imagine how angry and utterly insane you have to be, to shoot someone, then walk over, stand over her body and fire more shots into her head point-blank.
He is ready to die and so has no regards for another person’s life.
I wish she and her family had understood this.
I did, that’s why I’m alive today.
Here’s my advice to Women who have left an abusive spouse:
TAKE EVERY THREAT SERIOUSLY.
TAKE EVERY SINGLE THREAT SERIOUSLY.
TAKE STEPS TO PROTECT YOURSELF.
TAKE EVERY THREAT SERIOUSLY.
YOUR LIFE MATTERS.
My deepest condolences to her grieving family.
And in this journey of life, may we never find love in the arms of our executioner. 🙏